My Strength

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Thursday, November 29, 2012

THE STARRY NIGHT OF HIS ROOM



There is no language for the known. The time since I met him at his home in Nileswar, North Kerala, where he welcomed me to his home and heart with his shy smile, we needed no introduction for each other. Though he played an active role in my engagement, he always carried these unassuming shoulders in the events he managed. He had seen the emptiness beyond all luxuries and activities that gave him a spiritual charm. Our conversations, though very few, were never about the mundane and I always loved to be a listener to him. He would talk about his inseparable attachment with his mother he lost in his school days and his dream to have a house of his own. The words would come out only in the gaps between each puff he took from the cigarettes.

 “In those days, we had just one or two thieves in our village and everybody knew him/them. But now things have changed”

he would share his insights on the first floor balcony where we both sat and had beer. During one of those moments we shared he took me to his bedroom and closed the windows, turned off the lights and asked me to look up. I looked at the ceiling and a “Wow” came out of me as I saw a starry sky. We both laughed at the wonder. He smiled like a child who was complimented for a painting he made.

 “This is how I sleep here. I have got this painting done on the ceiling so that when I lie down I can feel the universe though I am confined physically to this room”.

I walked into his room last week and found him there among one of the stars glittering, giving me his ethereal smile!!!

Love you Vijayetan
RIP

By Santhosh Kumar Kana

Sunday, November 25, 2012

On My Wall....My facebook graffiti




All said and done, Facebook is a stress buster. Write a thought that eats you, post a pic, share a link you get comments and likes and you feel secure for being taken care of. A time when my blog posts needed an easy way to reach more readers, I found facebook wall an excellent way out. Here I am listing thoughts I have been sharing on my facebook wall. Wall has a great significance in our society. I remember walls in my home town getting renewed with new posts or paintings every festive or electoral season. Some walls had only advertisements and some film posters. Walls have united us for a social event though walls metaphorically have divided us. “Deewaron dar pe naksh banana se kya mila…” by Mehdi Hassan is a favourite of mine. Many private walls carried “stick no bills” and the instruction was something very English to us those days. There were times when some walls were used for anti-social activities or for an anonymous critique of a social injustice. Many walls carried the moisture of urine and some supported the tipsy and many became a safe haunt of the romantic. Some gathered moss and weed and the old words were hidden. I wouldn’t repeat “Walls too have ears”, I would say “Walls too have voice”. Each one is looking for a wall of expression to reach out to many, to be heard, thought about and cared for. I found my facebook wall giving a facelift to many minds. My facebook wall made me converse my thoughts with the unseen listener and I felt relieved when I found their “like”s and comments. Unlike in Frost’s “Mending Wall”, here walls do not divide, they bridge. My wall is my private public space, my soliloquy that keeps me secure in my solitude and loneliness. My joy, my pain, my loss, and my gain everything that I would like to vent out finds the most attended spot, my facebook wall.  

All my wall posts are my original thoughts and writings and the copy right is solely mine.

  • THE BIGGEST LIBRARY IN THE WORLD IS THE HUMAN MIND
  • IF YOU SLEEP OVER YOUR DREAMS, YOU WAKE UP WITH NOTHING
  • CONSISTENT OPTIMISM IS THE SIGN OF A SHALLOW MIND
  • THERE IS NOTHING MORE DECEPTIVE THAN TRUTH
  • I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FOR OTHERS, BUT FOR ME YOU ARE MY MOST SPECIAL, INCOMPLETE MASTERPIECE
  • THE DEEPROOTED NOTION IN ME OF A GOOD, GRATEFUL, LOYAL AND JUST WORLD MAKES ME SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED
  • A SAINT CAN NEVER BE A POET
  • THE MOMENT A POET IS SANE, HE/SHE CEASES TO BE A POET
  • IN A RELATIONSHIP, IT DOESN’T MATTER IF TWO PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT, BUT IT DEFINITELY MATTERS IF ONE OF THEM IS “INDIFFERENT”
  • IN KERALA, YOU FIND INTELLECTUALS WHOSE PAIN IS MERELY THEORETICAL
  • LOVE IS ONLY FOR MATURED PEOPLE
  • I HAVE ALWAYS FELT SAD AND LOST WHEN I SAW THE FAILURE OF SOME PEOPLE WHO ONCE WANTED TO BE SOMEBODY IN VARIOUS FIELDS
  • I AM A GOODLUCK CHARM TO PEOPLE. WHEN I SAY IT, IT SOUNDS LIKE BOASTING BUT WHEN THEY DON’T SAY IT, IT IS PAINFUL
  • I WOULD LOVE TRAFFIC JAM IF I HAVE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY LOVED ONE IN A CAR
  • SOME PEOPLE CAN ACCEPT AND DIGEST ANYTHING EXCEPT OTHER’S HAPPINESS
  • AN UNKNOWN SADNESS GRIPS, THE FINGERS DON’T FEEL THE TOUCH, WORDS ARE SOULLESS, THE FEET DO NOT FEEL THE GROUND.. YOU ARE THERE, STILL I DON’T FEEL YOU.
  • LOVE BRINGS OUT THE BEST, WORST, THE HOLY, THE UGLY, THE MEAN IN YOU. LOVE TEARS APART ALL YOUR PRETENSIONS
  • AT TIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A CHEF WHO HAS PREPARED ALL THE DELICIOUS DISHES FOR A PARTY BUT THE APPRECIATION GOES TO THE HOST AND EVERY OTHER PERSON
  • WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE, IT IS YOUR EGO THAT FALLS
  • LIFE IS AN OPEN PRISON
  • A QUESTION TRANSFORMS YOU WHEN IT BECOMES A QUEST
  • I like VAT............... Value Added TEACHING!!
  • THOSE WHO ARE SHOCKED AT YOUR POPULARITY ARE THE ONES WHO UNDERESTIMATED YOU
  • SOME FAIL TO REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT AND DIFFERENT YOU ARE, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO THEM
  • WHEN YOU INVITE TROUBLE, BE HOSPITABLE




Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Elusive



How can you be like the boundless sea?
How can you be like the autumn grove?
How can you be the silent, dull winter nights?
How can you be the elusive meaning of a favorite poem?
How can you be my eerie obsession?
How can you be an ever new obscurity?
How to name you?
You are my pain, my love, my depression, my anger and my emptiness.
-by Santhosh Kumar Kana